ALERT: TIME FOR PRODUCT RECALL

Hello,

I have an important public service announcement from The National Institute.

Please pay close attention.

There is a recall of a pharmaceutical drug that has been on the market since 2007. In preliminary studies, Obama was found to alleviate symptoms of major depression and anxiety disorders that were pandemic during the Bush/Cheney Administration.

This is a Class One Recall, a situation where there is a reasonable probability that use of or exposure to this product will cause serious adverse health consequences or even death. Obama was given to the nation in large doses to consume. Serious side effects from taking Obama have been found to include but are not limited to:

Significant memory loss both of short and long term memory
Delusional fantasies
Feelings of exceptionalism
Detachment from reality
Short term feelings of euphoria
Chronic feelings of betrayal
Monotonous speech patterns, characterized by droning on
Confusion
Feelings of rage
Frustration
Fits of despair
Paranoia
Fear of bugs
Sudden increase in alcohol consumption
Unemployment
Loss of appetite
Nausea
Loss of vision
Loss of judgement
Willingness to compromise everything
Dystopia
No concern for the future

Once again we are seeing severe depression and anxiety disorders nationwide. An official recall is in effect. If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, remember you are not alone. Do not delay. Stop taking Obama.

Thank you.