THE NEW DEMOCRATIC PARTY IRAQ STRATEGY

The word has just come down from Washington.
The Dems have got a bold new strategy.
It was to be called “head ‘em off at the pass”.

The idea was to outflank Bush and his team,
To come up with a plan to get out of Iraq.
To end this nightmare once and for all.
To bring the troops home
and stop wasting our national treasury
on a senseless and illegal occupation.

Reward the loyal voters from the last election.

But somehow the wires got crossed.
Somewhere between Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid
things got turned around.
No one knows for sure how or why.

Maybe it was a young intern who messed up,
or maybe a lobbyist from the war machine
intercepted the transmission and changed the message.
Possibly it was complicity and slavishness.

A news conference was organized,
all the cameras and microphones were turned on,
lights shining brightly on Pelosi’s make-up,
Uncle Harry was punching the imaginary shadows again.

The intros were made.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we welcome you to this important
Democratic Party news conference
where we will now unveil our new strategy
to deal with the president’s surge.

First, we passed the non-binding resolution.
Then we considered for just a second
cutting the occupation funds,
but that is a radical idea and
we have to take care of the troops,
and our corporate donors,
so that was ruled out.
Impeachment is also off the table.

So we are doing the next best thing.
We will do what we do best,
what we are known for here in Washington.

We are pleased to announce that
our new strategy will be,
not to stick our necks out
as the public requests,
but instead to stick our heads
up our collective small “d” ass.

Remember us in 2008.

We are the opposition party.